List of Chat Up Lines.

Here is a list of chat up lines for all the fellas to try out on the lllllaaaadies.

• "What time shall we arrange to ORGASM?!" Make sure you lean in and shout the word ORGASM. This line works because it suggests confidence on the man's part in his ability to produce the goods. It would probably work best on a busy, city type at an Eighties coke party.


• "How about I shag you into next week?" If for some reason this line actually works (like she is horny and thick), don't worry if you have problems with premature ejaculation that might undermine your lewd claim. Simply make sure you express your feelings physically starting at as close to midnight on a Sunday as possible. That way you will start on the old week, and end on the new one, technically fulfilling your promise.


• "I haven't felt this hot since I had a fever from eating spoiled meat!"


• "Would you like to come back to my place for some spoiled meat, ie. my cock?"


• "How about we skip the courtship and move straight on to the perfunctory marital sex? I am solvent and have a company car."

This technically qualifies me as a tabloid "sexspert".