The In Sound From Way Out!

2009 was OK, but in terms of music it'll only be remembered as the year directly before 2010! These are the bands to watch over the next twelve months.

Jihad Afterparty: Electro-Spaz fuckholes from who knows where, making the best anal buff you've never heard. Only play in italics.

Quicken The Pace Soldier!: Absolutely THEE most post-rock thing ever. Seven bearded guys in plaid shirts, masturbating into a viola with increasing intensity until the whole thing erupts into a mournful, spunky crescendo. Orchestral Bukkake In The Dark, if you like.

Visceral Spasm: Hardcore, but without all the moping and not having sex. Still well fucking serious though. Best thing to come out of Kent since Dover.

Pi$$ Gibbon: Chlamydia-core. Expect to see them turn up on Eastenders E20 not giving a FUCK! Way too edgy for Skins, or even Hollyoaks Later.

Honeysuckle Cupcake: Twee-er than Stuart Murdoch and Calvin Johnson writing a fanzine about cardigans. But wait! There's a twist! They are MASSIVELY RACIST! Not even in a semi-funny ironic way either, just racist. Probably best to give this one a miss.

Youthmovies Break Up WORLD EXCLUSIVE!

Don't listen to any of the stuff you hear on forums or even from the band themselves, the real reason behind the Youthmovies split is that they are planning to join that big T-Mobile jug band from the adverts. What a bunch of sell outs! Anyway, Mears told me he don't give a shit what you think, and has already written a fuck load of lyrics about pay as you go tariffs that will TOTALLY change the way you think about connectivity. FOREVER.

My favorite Youthmovies memory is when they did a cover of "Stay" by East 17 (this actually happened. I'm not making it up like some of the stuff that slips from my chubby little mouth). I think it was near xmas some years back.

What will I miss most? The haircuts probably.

PS. I was absolutely freezing cold when I drew that picture so that's why it's even shitter than normal.