Newcastle Facts.

I moved to Newcastle in July. Here is what I have learnt about it so far:

1) Vegetarianism is illegal in Newcastle. It was outlawed in 1992 by Jimmy Nail who was serving as lord mayor at the time. The law is upheld by forcing people to lick a rasher of streaky bacon as they cross one of the forty bridges that link Newcastle to Scotland.

2) Popular entertainers, Ant & Dec, were given the freedom of Newcastle in 1987. They frequently abuse this honour by daubing Newcastle Town Hall with obscene graffiti. Mostly of their own cocks.

3) Newcastle was built atop of a pile of dreams.

4) The colloquialism "Way aye", is the only recognised phrase in Newcastle for responding to a question in the affirmative.

5) The world's first quilt was manufactured in Newcastle in 2002. It was designed to bring warmth and comfort to the Geordie people during football matches. It has since been destroyed and replaced with a giant snood.

6) Former Newcastle Utd football captain Alan Shearer, owns the largest collection of signed Alan Shearer memorabilia anywhere in the North East.

7) Mirrors are illegal in some parts of Newcastle. To get around this problem, residents in these areas will gather round a communal pond and gaze down at their reflections. These ponds are known locally as "Looking Pools" or "Stare Pits".

8) Newcastle is sponsored by Greggs the Bakers.