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Bonjour Newcastle!

I am considering reinventing myself when I move to Newcastle next month. I only know a few people up there, so as long as they keep their mouths shut I should be able to get away with presenting myself however I want. So far I have come up with the following options:

  • Big headed ladies man

  • In demand after dinner speaker

  • Britain's most belligerent boss

  • Britain's most belligerent psychic

  • Spanish guy

  • French guy

  • Psychic French guy

I'm leaning towards Psychic French guy because the double dose of mystery is a sure winner with chicks 'n' stuff, for example:

"Bonjour Mademoiselle, (all in a French accent whilst holding girls hand and smoking two Gauloises) I sense a lot of sadness in you. You are like a lonely giraffe, drifting on a orchid along a very sensual river towards a sea of sexy tears. Fuck?"

Hopefully I can keep up this charade long enough to banish any trace of my old (sicking up in the bath) personality.

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