I am in a contest with some friends to see who can get the closest to the physique of Christian Bale in Batman Begins. The time limit is nine months. It will be me, Andrew (Mears) and Seb with Matty Lewis as the control specimen. The other competitors seem to think the contest is called "Batmanathon" but it is a shitty name so I refuse to recognise it. The REAL name of the contest is "Muscle Pregnancy". I reckon someone should get pregnant right now so we can have a good way of comparing our muscles to a pregnancy. I doubt this will happen so I may try and find a famous person who has recently declared herself pregnant and follow them via the saturation coverage in the tabloid press. I think I saw that most of the Spice Girls are expected to declare pregnancy soon.
On Friday we took the first measurements and contested the first feats of strength. I have the biggest calves. This puts me in a very strong position and I fully expect my amazing calves to fire me to victory.If I win Andrew has to hand over control of his girlfriend, V, to me. She probably won't mind, I'll be incredibly strong and muscle bound and Andrew will be weak and puny. Plus I'll be able to use my new strength to open jars for her and ward of any potential suitors. I will also go to a beach where Andrew is and kick sand in his face to further humiliate him.
I WILL WIN THIS CONTEST. FACT. TOTAL FACT.
