Dead Tasty.

All those women in the Philadelphia adverts are DEAD! All cut down seemingly in the prime of their lives. They probably died from eating exclusively low fat soft cheese, crackers and celery (maybe it's a bit like rabbit starvation http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_starvation). Philadelphia should make an alternate advert showing the grieving families of these unfortunate women, only showing them eating a rival low fat soft cheese at their loved one's wake. The alternate advert would have a two pronged effect:
1. Consumers would rush out and buy Philadelphia believing it to be a surefire ticket to heaven.
2. Any rival soft cheese would be forever associated with the loss of a loved one.

Grief + Promise of Eternal Happiness x Low Fat Soft Cheese = BIG BUCKS!