wing dang doodle

i haven't been able to post anything for a while because the computer has a virus.tootsies was gooooood!my burger was so big that when i opened my mouth as wide as i could to take the first bite,i only managed to graze it!the waitress was very enthusiastic about her work and everyone told her my name when i was in the toilet.this as you can understand,freaked me out!i kept thinking how did she know that?then as we were eating pudding,the lights went dark.at first i just thought they were doing that thing that some bars do when the night gets later,but they kept getting darker and darker until they were practically off.i grew suspicious,iwas right so be.the waiting staff came out with a small icecream sunday with a fucking massive roman candle in the top!i was mortified.

tonight i'll eat a burger!(somewhere in this town!)

damn straight!going to fucking tootsie burger thats why!by the way the title is meant to be sung to the tune of jailbreak by thin lizzy.this is the final installment of my birthday week and i reckon its gonna be awesome.
sorry about the end of my last post,i think the thought of being a pirate captain went to my head a bit.plus i'd just drank a load of rum.
still no new pictures i'm afraid.if i try to do it on my own,something will break.i just tried to change the colour of the dashboard and i got scared so i stopped.
i 've just been looking for places that sell these fucking excellent gold nike trainers i saw in town a few weeks ago.when i first saw them i thought they were rubbish.then by the time i'd gotten home and thought about them some more,i realised it would be fucking brilliant to have gold trainers!i imagined running past sunbathers really fast and them seeing only a gold flash,"what the fuck was that?"one of them would say,"i don't know,maybe it was a condor!"the other would reply,but i'd be gone!or imagine dancing with gold trainers on!I WANT THEM SO BADLY!i'll get a picture of them up as soon as i can.

i forgot how to work my blog.

thats right i forgot!you see,i'm not actually very good with computers,i find them a bit confusing.this means that until i've learnt and remembered how to put photos on here,you'll have to just keep looking at that kid crying.even though my birthday was on tuesday i still consider all of this week to be my birthday.this means i still expect people to be really nice to me and stuff.i haven't actually told anyone this so i'll probably be really shocked when someone is rude to me.if i get in an arguement i'll try and explain that its still my birthday,but i don't think it will wash,especially if i know the person.
my birthday drink was really good fun.emma got me a pirate hat,eyepatch and cutlass so i was looking pretty fucking macho as you can probably imagine!one guy in the pub tried to take a chair off our table even though i had a fucking cutlass!he must've been retarded or something,(if your reading this,retard,learn to pick your fucking battles).
i'm going now.

you smell nice!

hello,this is my first thing i wrote.its my birthday today,i'm 23 years old.i usually take a week off work to celebrate because i am extremely self centered and therefore enjoy the attention.for my birthday dinner i made myself a massive ommelette.it had 9 ingredients other than eggs if you include the 3 types of salami,it was delicious.my mum came round to see me but i was busy playing with an old synthesiser so i ignored her a bit.my favourite things are buying records,whistling and telling lies.i've never seen a ghost.this week the oxford mails front page headline news was about stupid cretins jumping off magdalen bridge on mayday and how the police want to stop it.i would like to take this opportunity to remind the oxford mail that it is now the middle of november, and that this story doesn't really seem relevant at the moment.november!